I ran toward death today.
I believed that my friends and maybe I were going to die in some unpleasant way.
I was ready for the battle, both to kill and to die.
I don’t understand why,
But I ran anyway.
Straight forward not away.
Then we found out it was a false alarm.
There had been no harm.
But I’m still here at 100%.
And that I resent.
Because I can’t calm down.
I can’t come down.
I feel pressure in my chest.
And the sweat builds in my vest.
And I still have the might,
Given to me by fight or flight.
I’m like an explosion that just didn’t happen.
Bad days come and go.
You don’t always reap what you sew.
Sometimes life is hard,
And you don’t get dealt the winning card.
As my mother said “that’s life.”
It’s going to be filled with strife.
You simply soldier on.
Tomorrow there will be a new dawn.
It will bring its own forms of pain.
But maybe a chance to gain,
Something you didn’t have before.
You might even get something more.
I hate my pride,
And the way I’m never satisfied.
I love my drive to work and make,
Even if it’s just for motion’s sake.
I hate my reluctance to make a stand,
Even when the embers of my anger are fanned.
I respect my lack of complaints,
Though it doesn’t put me with the saints.
There are many sides to me,
Some I love, others a don’t want to see.
I have good traits and bad,
Some are happy, some are sad.
I try to maintain self respect,
Though I know I’ll never be perfect.
I see things.
I’ve seen children of means doing demeaning things.
And sons of poverty who spread their wings.
I’ve seen grown men beg for life,
And children throw it away to avoid a little strife.
I’ve seen grandiose homes with filth and grime,
And homeless camps that pristinely shine.
I have seen some men tell the truth.
I’ve seen more lie despite the proof.
I’ve seen sorrow and courage,
Calm and rage.
I’ve seen precious little contentment and plenty of resentment.
I’ve heard women scream as I stand at their door,
Because I’ve come to tell them they aren’t mothers anymore.
I’ve seen bad men get their due,
And self righteous ones who have no clue.
I’ve seen lots of things as a police man.
Some things others never can.
Could a sneeze,
Start a breeze?
And if it could,
Is it possible it would,
Travel across the world,
To where my future love lies curled,
Nice and toasty in her bed?
Without that sneeze could we be wed?
Would I find that it’s the catalyst,
If I were to play the analyst?
Or would I find a more sinister affect,
If I were to stop and reflect?
Could it be?
That a ship at sea,
Might go down in a storm,
That from a sneeze took form?
It’s interesting to ponder,
Questions when your mind begins to wonder.
Like can a simple breeze,
Be caused by a sneeze?
Silly poem that just took form.
I watch the sun,
And wonder if I run,
Could I make it forever day?
And would I like it that way?
Or do I want the night,
With its cool breezes and dim moon light.
I always mocked those whose glory faded after high school,
But now that time has gone I’m tempted myself to reminisce;
Of those beautiful days when I was just a fool,
Who could while away the years in happy bliss.
I remember that life was not perfection.
There were days of sadness and pain.
But I’ve realized after much reflection,
That what draws us to obsess is what began to wain.
In those days there was always hope,
Tomorrow would be better no matter the circumstance of today.
It made it easier to cope.
When life wasn’t going your way.
Now there’s nothing more scary than tomorrow.
We make the bravest choices that we can,
Knowing a mistake today could result in future sorrow.
It’s easy to see why some would prefer to be Peter Pan.