I had a wife.
She was my life,
But it was a time filled with toil and strife.
I loved her dear.
And without fear.
Then came the day to shed a tear.
She asked to move on,
She told me not to miss her when she was gone.
It felt like my heart was staked to the lawn.
But her love couldn’t be bought.
So I gave in and accepted my lot.
One thing in life I’ve been shown.
All my relationships have been blown,
And I am meant to be alone.
I ran toward death today.
I believed that my friends and maybe I were going to die in some unpleasant way.
I was ready for the battle, both to kill and to die.
I don’t understand why,
But I ran anyway.
Straight forward not away.
Then we found out it was a false alarm.
There had been no harm.
But I’m still here at 100%.
And that I resent.
Because I can’t calm down.
I can’t come down.
I feel pressure in my chest.
And the sweat builds in my vest.
And I still have the might,
Given to me by fight or flight.
I’m like an explosion that just didn’t happen.
Bad days come and go.
You don’t always reap what you sew.
Sometimes life is hard,
And you don’t get dealt the winning card.
As my mother said “that’s life.”
It’s going to be filled with strife.
You simply soldier on.
Tomorrow there will be a new dawn.
It will bring its own forms of pain.
But maybe a chance to gain,
Something you didn’t have before.
You might even get something more.
I hate my pride,
And the way I’m never satisfied.
I love my drive to work and make,
Even if it’s just for motion’s sake.
I hate my reluctance to make a stand,
Even when the embers of my anger are fanned.
I respect my lack of complaints,
Though it doesn’t put me with the saints.
There are many sides to me,
Some I love, others a don’t want to see.
I have good traits and bad,
Some are happy, some are sad.
I try to maintain self respect,
Though I know I’ll never be perfect.
I see things.
I’ve seen children of means doing demeaning things.
And sons of poverty who spread their wings.
I’ve seen grown men beg for life,
And children throw it away to avoid a little strife.
I’ve seen grandiose homes with filth and grime,
And homeless camps that pristinely shine.
I have seen some men tell the truth.
I’ve seen more lie despite the proof.
I’ve seen sorrow and courage,
Calm and rage.
I’ve seen precious little contentment and plenty of resentment.
I’ve heard women scream as I stand at their door,
Because I’ve come to tell them they aren’t mothers anymore.
I’ve seen bad men get their due,
And self righteous ones who have no clue.
I’ve seen lots of things as a police man.
Some things others never can.
Now has come the time of day,
When the good little boys go out to play.
And by play I mean work and toil and strain,
To make a living and create gain.
With tired eyes he rises early,
To face the world so bleak and surly.
And goes out to face the day.
He hopes to improve the way,
His family lives.
And so he gives,
His sweat, blood and tears.
He faces many fears,
But never backs down to a single one.
Not till his day is done,
And he can finally return to the sweet embrace,
Of his loving wife and her tender grace.
Oh my darling, I love you so.
You are my everything and cure my woe.
I feel strong when you stand beside me.
And your wisdom helps me clearly see.
My love for you blooms like a flower.
It grips me with ever growing power.
I cannot escape it. I am your slave.
Though others may think I rant and rave,
For the first time ever my path is clear.
My purpose is to hold and protect you my dear.
To the world you will be my wife.
But to me, you are my life.